SPEAKER_02 0:00

Be delusional. If we're meant to be vulnerable, that's the truth for you. Then you're doing a disservice if you're not getting help for your stuff. I'm having a hard time sleeping. I'm always on edge. Am I gonna be okay?

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Hi there. Welcome. I'm Soleimon Balur. I'm here with another podcast guest by the name of Paulo Stosta. He is a hypnotist and a transformation coach. So we're gonna dive into a little bit about what hypnosis is, and he's gonna tell us a little bit about his life experience as to how he got here. And then as always, we're gonna have Paulo take us through a nice fun exercise and see where we go from there. So welcome, Paulo.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Yeah, absolutely. So tell us a little bit about what you do, or like how did you get to where you are, how you what you do and how you got there.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

Sure. Um, well, my journey started as figuring out well, okay, we go back to 2014. And I had just came back from Afghanistan. And what I was doing out there, I was medical. So any uh people that were wounded would come into the hospital, and they would come to their trauma bay and pretty much do our best to keep them alive. And one thing I can say out there is, you know, it gets pretty normalized, the things that we see. Um people hurt, people wounded, people die, and then we go back to work.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

That's just like a normal day. That's just part of the job, right? And so you get conditioned of being out there, and then you come back home, and then it's not like that anymore. And then you're kind of in a way seeking that. So again, you're not used to just normal everyday problems, right? You're looking for that kind of excitement, and it's just an uncomfortable place to be when you're sitting with, you know, your normal friends, the the ones that you didn't go out there with, and trying to relax and try not to think, okay, if something happens, where do I escape? You know, your minds are clicking different. And, you know, the military does what they can to help you with therapy. And so, you know, I go and see a therapist, but I'm not really, I'm not, we're not clicking. I'm I'm going into the office and she's there on her computer and you know, hearing me out, but don't really have any feedback, answering the phone at the same time as our as our session, you know, and I'm like, I'm I'm not doing that well. You know, I'm having a hard time sleeping, I'm always on edge. Uh, my relationships around me are just I feel distant. And so it uh on my on my own, I researched, well, what else can I do? I had no idea about, you know, meditating, no mindfulness, no nothing. It was just, you know, the military is like either medication or you come and see a psychiatrist who really is not paying attention to you. So I stumbled upon hypnotherapy. And I said, okay, well, I'll try this out. Find out it's not um usually a thing that's paid for by insurance. So it's something that I had to pay out of pocket for myself. And I said, well, but if this is gonna really help me, um I'm gonna do it. And so I started having sessions and I started feeling a lot better. So 2014, and then we'll go to 2024 is when I started thinking, okay, well, I want to help people mentally, right? And then hit hypnotherapy, I thought you had to have uh a license. I thought you had to have a degree, but you don't. You take a course and you become certified. So that's a difference between um like a licensed therapist, and then not all states in the United States like the word hypnotherapy, um, but you're a certified hypnotist. Got it. Um, there is um a board that approves of your certification, but um, and what drove me to that point was uh in the late of 2023, I was arrested. I was arrested, um talk a little bit about it. It was being at the wrong place at the wrong time, and now I find myself, I really have to fight for my freedom because I was looking at a possible 10-year sentence. And you know, I I was given a public defender at first, and I just didn't have all that trust in the public defender. And I remember her giving me an email and around nine o'clock at night and I couldn't I couldn't sleep. And I had a really I just went into this anxiety mode, and I said, okay, well, I know there's one thing, right? When a body's in stress, you cannot be creative. So I had to pull myself out of it, and by that time I did learn things as like mindfulness and and meditation. I said, okay, well, what other options do I have? So I went and seeked a criminal defense lawyer, which cost a bit of money. And but I was in limbo for a whole year. So if I took like 2024, it was all about, you know, try trying to figure out, am I gonna be okay? And I had stopped working from the time that I got arrested, and I spent a good half of the year just figuring out what am I gonna do next. And I I knew that this time in my life, I was really learning a lot about myself. And I wanted to be this time to be, well, how am I learning about myself? How am I gonna benefit myself and how am I gonna benefit others? How do I make this story a motivation or inspiration for others to not to give up on themselves? Because I knew one thing, no matter what, someone can take away your freedom physically, but they can't do it mentally. So whether I was gonna go there and spend time in in prison or not, I knew that I had to be okay in here before that happens.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

Um I mean the I I do believe that there were were things spiritually that happened for me that allowed me to not go there because uh as of this month is my last day of probation, and then I'm completely done with that chapter of my life.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

Congratulations.

SPEAKER_02 8:06

Yeah, so I mean that was that that was my whole goal of of being a coach, of being a hypnot a hypnotist, is there are patterns that we hold on to from childhood, right? There's like there's a child in all of us. There's a seven-year-old child running the show as an adult, unless we take the necessary steps to reprogram that part of our brain, the subconscious mind. Because it runs on patterns, it's it it gets comfortable with what we're used to. And you know, for some reason we just keep go, we just keep going back to what was comfortable, you know. If we if we grew up in a chaotic household, if we watched our parents argue all the time, if we learned how to love, you know, not in the right way as adults, you know, we find that comfort spot and it really takes some work and effort to, you know, shift shift your brain. And I think that with along with other tools, but hypnotherapy can get you pretty quick results.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

Yeah. What's can you give the sort of like listeners an example of specifically directed around sort of men's identity or men's uh mental state? Like, what are some of the things that you've noticed where you were and the shift that hypnotherapy helped you with?

SPEAKER_02 9:50

Mm-hmm. Um, I could say vulnerability. I think it's hard for men to be vulnerable. I think it's hard for them to recognize or even acknowledge that they're carrying wounds and that it's hard for them to open up. Like I can give an example with my dad. Um, my dad, you know, on some very rare occasions, he will open up about how he fell, felt about his relationship with his parents when he was a kid and what my dad did for his career. He was a police officer, and he's seen a lot. And, you know, when you get him talking, you can see it in his in his eyes. He just starts um watering, his eyes starts watering.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:44

And you can tell there's some deep, there's some wounds in there, there's some pain. You know, him and my mom went through a divorce back in the year 2000, and that really took a toll on him. And the way I think men are used to dealing with it, are maybe shown from their dad was you know, you just have to toughen up. You can't show weakness. And I mean, everybody deserves to, everybody deserves to be happy. And you know, if you look on uh a vibrational chart, you know, a fear is at the bottom. I think men actually have that fear if they start opening up, if they say what's on their mind, if they share their emotions, that they're gonna be looked at different. They're gonna they're gonna say, well, maybe they're gonna say, well, you're not mad enough, or you know, usually that's maybe considered the woman's role is to open up and share her feelings, and then he's there to provide a safe space, but that needs to be both ways, you know. I think uh men carry a lot on their shoulders, you know, women do too, but I think a lot of you know emotional mental health um caters to caters to a lot of women, but I think now in modern times I've seen a lot more about men's health and you know, just mental health in in general. So, you know, not uh my dad is in his mid-60s now, and just like a couple years ago started getting help and mental mental health. And I had been telling him for a while, like, why don't you go, you know, and talk to somebody. And he's a veteran himself, and he got connected with the VA, and it wasn't until he was starting to seek, you know, how can I he didn't have a disability rating. And not until he started seeking the how can I do that. They they said, Well, you know, we think that you we recommend that you go and see a therapist, and you know, lo and behold, he he you know, told me about it, and he's like, I feel a lot better. I feel a lot better that I'm just even able to have a safe space to talk about it. You know, and there's things that he probably won't be able to share with me, but you know, I'm I'm happy for him and you know, I think I think men, you're doing a disservice if you're not getting help for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Yeah, I ditto that. Yeah. It's interesting that you share that about your father, his sort of like uh inability to show his emotion or or willingness to want to share his vulnerability and his emotions. Uh for me, it's actually uh the reverse uh in my uh upbringing. Uh my dad passed away when I was really young, uh, but he was the one that was more of the emotional. Like he showed more of his emotion and more of his affection and more of his uh range of emotions. And uh my mom has been the one that uh has had is has a really hard time expressing her. It's not necessarily expressing her, like she's really easily able to express her like range of emotions. But when it comes to like showing that nuanced vulnerability of her sadness or her grief, like she has a really hard time going there. Uh, she just sort of holds it back. And so that's what I learned from where it's like, wait a minute, my dad was very easily able to express his emotions, but my mom isn't. So I guess uh the question for me, the curiosity is why do you think that men, like we're all emotional beings, men, women, right? Why do you think that we've gotten to a place where we think that expressing our emotions or our vulnerability isn't a good thing? Like, why did we even why did that even how why do you think how do you think that came about? Like just out of your own sort of experience?

SPEAKER_02 15:18

I mean, I think it goes back into even, you know, maybe the caveman days where the man's job was to make sure that he provided a roof and he went and hunted and got the food, and the woman, you know, stayed with the children. And I think, you know, women are very in tune. I do believe that women are more closer to enlightenment than men are. Men have more learning and growing to do than women, but um I I think just the way our society has evolved, you know, until the man is the one to go out there and work, and the women are are like the foundation. The women are they take care of the needs of the kids, the kill the children's needs. They're more more emotionally in tune to what the children need and what they um I th I think uh the man's or the woman's job is like telling the man, you know, this is what is needed. And he's the doer. And he'll do it because he's told to, maybe not because there's really not an emotional emotion behind it. Doing something because it's ass, not so much because maybe there's emotion like I'm doing it because I l because it's not because he doesn't love or he doesn't care, it's he's just used to doing. He's the doer. Yeah. And I think maybe men have an easier time opening up to other men. Um other than, you know, maybe just I mean, because uh that's he's supposed to be the the brave one, the tough one, right, at home. And it's if the man um s shows the emotions I I think um they do want to be someone solid for their for their um for the woman in the relationship. But yeah, I I think it goes uh I go it goes back to to early early times. I mean what what their role was, you know, now it's I actually think it's it's more it's more even. I think now women are more in the work work field, and you know, I I know that I know men personally that are at home with with the children. So I think there's more of a balance, and I think with social media, uh people are now becoming more aware of mental health and things like mindfulness and you know, men, it's okay to to share and express your emotions. Um, there's really good books out there right now just talking about that.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

So um yeah, I think it's we are I think we're living in quite great times in a sense of where the desire to connect to the depth of who we are, at least for me, I'm seeing it more and more uh with my men's groups, with a lot of the guys that I see in my community, uh, or my friends from different walks of life. I think there is a desire to find their sense of self more. Uh, whether it's emotional or mental, uh, there is more of a curiosity of like who am I? Like, how am I made up? Uh, and and also the idea behind being the breadwinner, or I think you're right, I I'm I'm seeing that it's more equal these days, that there's more and more uh, you know, speaking about like a heterosexual relationship, there's more men and women who both are working in the household. And I I think the the thing that I love about the masculine feminine energy or the idea of masculine feminine energy is that we both have, we both, we all have both. Right. The question is which one's more pronounced, right? In the, you know, is it more pronounced in the man or is it more pronounced in the woman? And which one? And so I think that uh, like for instance, I know that a lot of women that I see in my sphere of influence or in my life, I see them wanting to step into their feminine, but they're not finding, they're not feeling safe in some ways, right? So yeah. So I'll I'll just leave it at that and see what you're doing.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

Well, that's what I was gonna ask about your parents. You know, you say your dad was emotional, your mom was kind of like reserved back, but how do they, I guess, what how are they there for each other? Like when your dad, you know, meh, he obviously had to feel safe to open up. Maybe your mom didn't. Maybe your was it your dad that how did you react when she got emotional? Like, how do how were they there for each other?

SPEAKER_00 20:50

Yeah, I appreciate you saying that. So I think that my mom grew into her uh stiffness when my father passed away. Uh, I do think that when I see in the pictures, my mom was very sort of flowy and feminine. And um my dad was able to really hold the sort of uh, I would say like the nurturing masculine whenever needed for my mom and hold the pillar. But he was also very emotional, like would easily be able to like express his like joy and frustration and anger and like tap into that. So that's the interesting thing for me is that when we talk about like the idea of a masculine man, um, I think that we're we're talking like a very uh specific narrow lens of it in today's society as to what we think of what a masculine man needs to look like. Uh, and I think that we've sort of skewed that idea that oh, a masculine man is directive. He's purpose-driven and XYZ. And I think that we're so much more than that. There's so much more to the masculine identity that we've uh sort of like co-opted it as to know. It's this one single linear line that you need to follow.

SPEAKER_02 22:15

Yeah, and it depends on what culture you're from, too. Um, I like you said, I mean, men are very emotional beings, like everyone is, but I think it's gone into a lot of it's gone into anger and frustration. Like, you know, my dad is the the closest male model in my life, right? So when we think about masculine and feminine, we think about our parents, and my dad hates the thought of being disrespected. Hates it. Like he thinks somebody's looking at him the wrong way or someone caught him off. And you know, sometimes he can let it ruin the moment or ruin his day, like, you know, and he won't let it go. And, you know, if I'm there, I'm like, you know, I try to tell him I said, well, think about the another perspective. You know, if if this person cut you off, maybe they're on their way to the hospital because someone in their family's dying. Like, you don't know. You know, it's like just think of another alternative to just taking things so personal. So yeah, I mean, your your parents could teach you a lot. They can teach you, you know, the healthy things you want to hold on to, and you know, maybe the things that you don't want for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Absolutely. Speaking about anger, what are some other sort of like ways that you've seen that hypnotherapy can help uh men in terms of yeah, what would give give the viewers like a couple more examples so they can be like, oh yeah, I want to try hypnotherapy?

SPEAKER_02 23:56

Oh, there's so many. You know, I've was on another podcast and somebody asked me, what's the number one thing you think that somebody comes to you for? Yeah. And really, I think it all comes down to our confidence and how we see ourselves, our self-esteem, you know, how we talk to ourselves. Um, and then there's like, okay, well, it resulted in this. It resulted in, you know, gaining a lot of weight, smoking, um, procrastination, money blocks. Like it resulted in these other things. So that when somebody comes to me, it's like, I have this issue, what do I do about it? But then, you know, after talking to them for about an hour, then they realize it's even deeper than that. So, um, so yeah, uh confidence is huge. It's that negative self-talk, you know, it's thinking you're not good enough. You're not good enough to be healthy, you're not good enough to be wealthy, you're not good enough, you know, in general. So, yeah, I don't know how many times somebody's come to me and I said, I thought I was coming to you for this, yeah, but actually it's my how confident I am, how how I talk about myself, thinking that I'm worthy of having my vision. Because we get very detailed in what does your life look like, right? So let's say somebody wanted to come in and they wanted to start stop smoking. Well, I want to be very conscious of the language that I use and it's not in the negative. So I'm not gonna say in the hypnosis recording, you are not a smoker. Because the subconscious mind doesn't understand the no and the not. If I say, don't think of a red car, your mind goes to red car first before it's oh yeah, you told me not to. So um, so what does your life look like, you know, as a non-smoker? Okay, well, I smell good, my wife compliments me on my breath, I'm kissing a lot more, you know, my kids want to be around me and play with me. You know, everything that comes along with smoking, let's let's change that. And also let's add, you know, anything else. You know, what does your life look like? If you were to think your most happiest day, what does that look like? You know, your kids are healthy, you know, you have a great relationship, you're living, you know, in a in a mansion. Like people get really detailed on what their life looks like. So yes, it's very, it can get very specific, but also, you know, in a broader lens, what does your life look like?

SPEAKER_00 26:59

Yeah, that's great. If you were to, you know, you mentioned some of the things that people thought they're coming to you with. I there's there's actually two curiosities right now with what you shared. The first one is the thing that you asked you shared about like they come to you for something, they think it's that, but actually it's something else, right? That they actually work on. That's the first curiosity. And then the second curiosity is how does a guy know? Because I had this trouble, how does a guy know that he is not feeling worthy, self-confident? Because in in my from my experience, I didn't know I was I wasn't feeling self-confident. I didn't know I was not worthy of who I was. I thought that's just how I was in life until I took all these programs and trainings, realizing, oh, I have a lot of self-doubt. I have a lot of self-talk, I have a lot of self-doubt. So how how does a guy actually and you can take whichever one you want to answer first?

SPEAKER_02 28:07

Okay, so we go in this last question you asked. It's it's a part of the journey, right? So if something's not going right in your life, you want to understand why, then you start asking questions, you start Googling, you start going on YouTube, right? It's not very apparent, and it wasn't for me either. It wasn't like, oh yeah, I I always tell myself I'm stupid and I I'm not, you know, I'm not smart or you know, uh what are the patterns in my life? That's what I'm used to. Um, my parents weren't, you know, millionaires, I'm not gonna be either. My parents, both of my parents have been married and divorced several times, so am I, you know, so that you're used to what you're used to, and it it really takes you to want to do the work, you know, uh find a book, get a mentor, get a coach, um, do some meditation. Like those answers will will start, you you will get more clear on what is what is your block. Um because there's obviously a block if you're not happy the way your life looks like. Totally. Or if you're just not happy, like there's obvious you know, because if you were happy, then then you know that you're good enough. You know, I have a good uh on my YouTube when I started it, I was like, what's gonna catch people's attention? What's going to like you know, like, oh wait, um, let me look into this more? And it was be delusional. Be so delusional. You think of the most successful people out there, and then what we look at, you know, as success, but you know, they're very delusional about themselves. Yeah, you know, if you ever like the other day, uh I was with my friend and his uncle, and his uncle lost a lot of weight. And he looks pretty good. I remember when he was, he he maybe lost, I think a hundred pounds. Yeah. And he was standing in the mirror and he was taking pictures of himself. And my friend was like, look at him. He's laughing at him. Like, look at him, look at him. He's you know taking pictures of myself. I said, that's amazing, that's awesome. He feels so good about himself.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:40

You know, it's like, oh yeah, you know, he's he's delusional about himself. And I'm like, yeah, he is. He's very happy. Yeah, you know, and like we we we want to encourage other people. We want, we should be encouraging others when they're doing well, when you're making steps forward, and not just highlighting the things that are going wrong, but really highlighting you know the things that are going right. And you know, that's that's my motto. Be so delusional about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

And and when you say sort of the idea of delusional, you mean like because I I think I know what you're referring to, the idea of like, uh, especially entrepreneurs, right? They think that what they're creating is the best thing, it's gonna make it, it's gonna hit, it's gonna millions of people are gonna want it, it's gonna be a uh, you know, the best company ever. Uh so you're saying for people to be delusional in the sense of like know them, like know you're great, like think that you're amazing, like in the most delusional, crazy way possible, right?

SPEAKER_02 31:50

Yeah, until your subconscious like aligns with that. It's like, yeah, like whatever you you gotta think, whatever life you have in this moment, you manifested all that, you created all that, all the positive and all the negative. You've believed in whatever your past self believes in your present right now.

SPEAKER_00 32:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

So just think if all that's possible, anything is, you know. When I was in limbo about my arrest situation, I really had to get to a point that I had to believe that, well, yeah, one, I was gonna be okay no matter what, mentally, but I wasn't going back in there. And it took a lot of meditation, it took a lot of visualizing, self-hypnosis, you know, and you know what I would do every day is I would send love to my attorneys, to the prosecutor, and to the judge. I would send them love every day and I would thank them. And in my last time that I had saw the judge, I had wrote in my letter, I said, Thank you for what you do for a country. You know, because this was a federal court, so you know you you have to believe in yourself. And I mean, really quick, like on religion, there's a lot of beliefs of what's gonna happen to us, or what there's a lot of beliefs in a lot of religions, and in my stance, I don't argue with anyone. I said whatever you think is gonna happen is gonna happen. Whatever you believe, that that's the truth for you.

SPEAKER_00 33:38

Yeah, yeah, I appreciate that. That's that's beautiful in a sense of how you got to where you got to. Uh was a it was a lot of work. It was a lot of work, it was a lot of effort, uh, it was a lot of commitment. So it takes it takes that effort to creating something. And uh the thing that I also want to acknowledge is that there was a lot of emotional work that you had to go through as well. Um thank, you know, the emotional thanking, you know, being grateful and thanking those, those, you know, your your lawyer, the the federal judge. I mean, that's that's a lot of emotional uh yeah, to be in that kind of emotional state of like, I'm going to be grateful and thank them for their work.

SPEAKER_02 34:28

Yeah. That was another thing with that too, with visualizing. So, you know, I'd get really in a state of like just peace and and tranquility, and just you know, and then it's it's like it, your mind, your subconscious starts to open up. And then now you can introduce programming, you can introduce um thoughts and and and phrases. And when I remember towards the end, so I didn't find out what was gonna happen to me uh right at like a year ago. But I remember around like December, um, you know, I kind of like just I was like, you know what? I'm not gonna be attached to an outcome. Whatever happens to me, I'm gonna be okay. But like there was this like deep knowing that I'm gonna be free. I'm not gonna go in there, right? Yeah. So I was I remember one of my last visual, I was visualizing right before I had met with my lawyer. Because when you're in that situation, like you're kind of like, if I don't hear from my lawyer, it's no news is good news, right? And then when I see them calling, I'm like, oh man, like what do they have for me? So I remember the assistant attorney called me and he says, Hey, you know, he wants to see you in his office. Can you come by next week? I said, Yeah. So on that weekend, I was visualizing, and I had got so detailed in my visualization that I started crying because I was so happy. And what I had visualized is that the the judge was like, okay, yeah, you're good. And I stepped out and I'm hugging my lawyer and my parents and my family, and we're crying because we're so happy that nothing's gonna happen to me. And another thing that came is it was right before Christmas, and I visualized my attorney telling me, I have an early Christmas gift for you. And when I went to go see him the next week, he said that word to me. He said those words to me. I have an early Christmas gift for you. You're gonna be fine. And then that whole scene with me hugging my lawyers and my family outside of the courtroom, that all happened. So, you know, that whole thing really, I mean, just it taught me like anything's possible. Yeah. Yes, there's the judge and there's your attorney and the prosecutors, and you know, if you go to trial, there's a jury and they're gonna decide your fate. But I think there's something even bigger going on in the background that we can't see physically that really pushes energy a certain way, if you believe it.

SPEAKER_00 37:18

Yeah, agreed. There's a cro-creation, right? However much we or you or I put into life, I feel like life is willing to be like, all right, let's go. You're ready for this. I see you're you're willing to step forward. When they've come across to you, what are some of the things that they first come to you and you're like, it's deeper, baby. It's deeper.

SPEAKER_02 37:49

Um, a lot is a lot is money blocks.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 37:55

So money blocks, right? And money blocks it the idea that money will get you happier because now you have more freedom to do more things. Um so a lot of money blocks, uh procrastination. Um I really think that chewing nails, like chewing nails, weight and smoking, right? Because it's more of a you can actually see that it's working. Right? Because if someone stopped smoking, then it worked. If they stopped chewing your nails, it worked.

SPEAKER_01 38:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:36

So that's really that's really cool. And it makes people a believer, and then they end up coming back and it's like, well, I want to work on this now. It's like, okay, because they see it, it they can't believe it, you know, it worked.

SPEAKER_00 38:49

So a lot of yeah, a lot of those so so when they first come to you for money blocks, what's the deeper then then what is it really about? Usually.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

If if they believe they deserve it.

SPEAKER_00 39:12

So, so oh, so worthiness, deserving. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Right, right. Yeah. So the they come to you because, hey, I want to make more money. I have this thing that I'm not, for some reason, I'm not making money in my life. And they come to you and they realize, okay, yes, it could be potentially money blocks, but the idea of having more money in your life isn't really, you know, I know a lot of people that are very wealthy and they're not really happy. So it's not really about the money, it's the underlying of like, cool, are you worthy? Do you deserve a good life? Do you deserve to be happy? XYZ, right?

unknown 39:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:50

Yeah, because they can take something that happened in their life that maybe they weren't, you know, maybe they haven't forgiven themselves for. And that can turn into relationship blocks as well, right? If we think of other relationships we've been in and maybe this one didn't work out, and you think, well, was it because of who I was in prior relationships? You know, am I now dealt this card? Um, so it's it's about what you think you deserve. And are you are the are you worthy? Um sense of self. You know it's we get in our own way. You know, we try to find out things in in in the outside of you know why things aren't working out for us, but it's always about you know how we look at how we look at life and how we talk to ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 40:57

Yeah, that's been a big journey for me. In I do a lot of journaling. I like to journal. And I think the thick, the theme that I've noticed come sort of like ebb and flow through my journaling is that idea of what am I when I'm writing, what am I saying to myself? And there are moments where I'm talking really down at myself, like not happy about what I've created or not happy about the you know, the thing that I did today. And then noticing that there's themes where I'm like, good job, I'm proud of you, good job, way to go. Like, so it's it's really important to recognize, like, to to one, become aware, right? Of like, hey, how am I talking to myself? And then two, what do you do about it? To whether it's hypnotherapy or another modality that that's out there so that you can support yourself. So you're not continuing that sort of like hamster wheel of putting yourself down, talking down to yourself, and finding a new way, finding a whether it's a better word or a better affirmation or a way to be compassionate with yourself for the thing that you did that you weren't so happy about, uh, and to find a better way to be a better person to yourself.

SPEAKER_02 42:12

Yeah. And then from there, when you start with yourself, then that really benefits other people around you. I mean, if you can't find how to love yourself, you really can't love others. Right. You know, the I mean, journaling is really important and it's good to write everything down to good and ugly. You know, sometimes you can go back and look and you can see your progress. You're like, wow, I used to really, you know, talk to myself like this, but it's a it's important to write it all down. When you say it out loud to maybe a person, you know, people don't already always say everything because they don't want to sound crazy. But you know, when you write it down and it's only you and the pen and paper, and only you are gonna read it, you know, just write everything down that you feel. Get that's a good way to get your emotions out. You have to do something. When you're stuck, you have to do something about it. Go read, you know, go for a walk, a run, go to the gym, journal. You have to, you know, when you hold on to an emotion, especially anger, you know, it could really fester and create other problems for you in your body.

SPEAKER_00 43:32

So yeah. If so, I know that there's been moments where I have written something or journaled, and I have felt uh a bit of fear, and if someone's gonna read it. So, this is for for you guys out there, for the guys who might be afraid. What I would recommend if there's something that you want to write and you're afraid somebody might read it, burn it. Like allow yourself. To fully express exactly what Paulo's saying, like it's so important to express this, like let it out so you're not holding on to it. Write it down on a piece of paper and then tear it up or burn it. So this way you're not worried if somebody else might pick it up and read, like, oh my God, what did you write? Like just express it and let it go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

Yeah. Yeah, right. I mean, it's how you how you respond. Um, you know, that's why we that's why you also do practices of mindfulness and meditation because I don't know how many times you know something will trigger, something will trigger me. And I really I have to go take a break in a bathroom and just stare at myself and say, hey, like if you're if you're feeling like taking action, where is it coming from? Is it coming from peace or is it coming from an emotion? Because 10 minutes ago, you weren't willing to do that, right? You weren't you didn't want to punch the wall, right? So you know that if it's if you decide whether you want to do something, where is it coming from? Is it coming from emotion or is it coming from a place of peace?

SPEAKER_00 45:15

I love that. Is it coming from emotion?

SPEAKER_02 45:19

Or coming from a place of peace.

SPEAKER_00 45:21

So emotion meaning because peace is an do you consider peace is emotion itself?

SPEAKER_02 45:30

Calm, calm.

SPEAKER_00 45:32

So uh so like to say the one side would be an emotion of anger, frustration, right? And the other side would be peace, calm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah, this is amazing. I I I could talk about this in the fall day. It's no good. So uh shall we sort of lead you towards uh speaking about sort of like what the exercise is that you want to offer right now?

SPEAKER_02 46:00

Yeah, it's gonna be like um around 15 minute uh meditation.

SPEAKER_00 46:05

Okay. Well give us a little bit about like what is it about?

SPEAKER_02 46:09

Like how does it like yeah, tell us a little bit about about it so the audience can sort of like Well, I I did a script for it and I kind of wanted to tail it a little towards your audience, the men men's mental health, and kind of like what we were talking about earlier of you know, men are like can be like an egg, right? Like a hard, round surface. But if you you know get it to crack a little bit, they'll really open up. And I think that's important for even, you know, women to know, like, you know, if you're able to create a safe space for you know the men in your life. If you keep digging, they'll you know, they'll open up to you. They just have to feel safe. I mean I think maybe it requires men to feel even more safe, right? And say, well, she's not gonna judge me for for crying. She's gonna still think that I'm her strong, tough guy, you know. I tell her how you know when I lost my dog at 10 years old. Like so it's my goal is to create a safe space for men. And not just can I be it for them, but for themselves, really. So yeah, it's hopefully you know, on their own, they they can listen to it, and you know, if this is a recording, um, you know, listen to it daily. My recommendation whenever I do a hypnosis uh session, so I can tell you a little bit how how I run a hypnosis session.

SPEAKER_00 48:01

Yeah, great.

SPEAKER_02 48:02

Um, so usually it takes around two hours fully. Uh it's gone as far as three, and it's gone as less as an hour and a half. But in the first part of it, I ask them kind of like what is your history, you know, with mental health, any other health complications you have? Have you ever seen a therapist? Just like a a basic questionnaire. And then the second part is in the first part we I want to know what did you come and see me for? And then the second part is, okay, so what is what does your life look like if that wasn't an issue anymore? And so we just I ask them questions, what does it look like? What does it feel like? What does it smell like? What does it taste like? Like let's get all the senses and what what does that look like for you? And then I make a recording for them and I send it to them using their language off of the questions I ask them, and then I say, listen this for two weeks. And I always recommend if you're gonna listen to a meditation, um, try to do it right when you wake up or right before you go to sleep, because our our brain is easier to get in the theta state, and the theta state is the hypnosis state. That's where your brain waves are like, okay, I can receive programming. And if on the scientific level, up until we're seven years old, kids are in theta state. That's why they're sponges, right? That's why they're all the things that are that create habits later in life, they're learning in that time. So yeah, listen for it for at least two weeks so that now it becomes a pattern, and then you can go back to it whenever you think you need it.

SPEAKER_00 50:04

Right. So we'll have you go ahead and now uh do the exercise. Yeah, the hypnosis.

SPEAKER_02 50:16

Okay. Before we begin, if you're driving or operating machinery, just listen. Listen to the words without closing your eyes. If you're in a safe place, allow your eyes to gently close. Take a deep breath in through the nose, and exhale through the mouth. Again, breathe in and then out. There's nothing you need to fix right now. Nothing to figure out. This is simply a moment to stand down from the fight. Notice the weight of your body, the points of contact where you're supported. The chair the floor the ground beneath you. You don't have to hold yourself up right now. You're already supported. As you breathe, imagine each exhale releasing pressure. Pressure the kind of pressure that comes from always being on always carrying always pushing. Loosen that jaw and drop those shoulders. Soften your chest You're not losing any strength by just relaxing. You're recovering it. Now bring your attention to the top of your head. Imagine a wave of calm beginning there. Slowly moving downward across the forehead, behind the eyes, down the back of the neck. Notice any tension or tightness. Don't fight it. Just acknowledge it and let the wave move through anyway. Down into the shoulders, the arms, the hands, down into your fingers. Let the wave move through the chest, the stomach, the lower back. If emotions surface, that's okay. You don't have to label them. You don't have to explain them. Just let them pass through like weather. Now relax through the hips, the legs, all through the feet, and down through your toes. Your body knows how to relax. You're just giving it permission. Now in a moment, I'm going to have you relax more completely. You're gonna hear a countdown from ten to one. The moment I say number ten, you allow your eyelids to remain closed. The moment I say the number ten, you will in your mind's eye see yourself at the top of a set of beautiful stairs. The moment I say the number nine, and each additional number, you will simply move down those stairs, relaxing more completely. At the base of the stairs is a large feathered bed with a comfortable feathered pillow. The moment I say number one, you will simply stick into bed, resting your head on that feather pillow. Number ten, eyes close at the top of the stairs, relaxing and letting go. Nine sinking into a more comfortable, calm, peaceful position, seven going way down, six, moving down those stairs, relaxing more completely, four go ahead and breathe in deeply three on the next number, simply sinking into that bed, becoming more calm, more relaxed, more peaceful, two sinking into that feather bed, let every muscle go limp and loose as you sink into a more peaceful state. One now I want you to imagine a version of yourself standing in front of you, not a perfect version, a real one. This is you when you're calm, clear, steady. Notice how this version carries himself, your posture, your breathing, your eyes. This version doesn't suppress emotion. He understands it. He knows that strength isn't about never breaking, it's about knowing how to recover. And as I and as you look at him, you realize something important. You don't need to become him, you are already him, just buried under noise, stress, and old survival patterns. Now imagine stepping into that version of yourself. Feel what it's like to breathe from that place, to think from that place, to respond instead of reacting. And from now on, when pressure builds, your nervous system remembers this state, the calm becomes accessible, the clarity becomes available, strength feels steady instead of force. You don't need anger to feel powerful, you don't need numbness to feel safe. You are allowed to feel and remain in control. Your mind learns that rest is productive, that calm sharpens you, that emotional awareness is an asset, and every day it becomes easier to pause, to choose your response, to choose yourself, to trust yourself. Now gently place your attention on your breath again. Anytime you take a slow breath in through the nose and release it through the mouth, your body remembers this state. Calm strength, grounded focus, inner control. This becomes your reset button. In a moment, I will count from one to five, and at five you will return fully awake, clear headed, present, and steady. Gentle movement in the fingers and toes, four, a deep refreshing breath, and five, eyes open when ready.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:51

Wow. That was uh that was totally deep in there. That was great. That's that's great. Yeah, that was that was powerful, man. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:03

Of course, my my pleasure.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:05

Yeah, yeah, I can definitely notice the uh repetitive thought of like uh common grounded. Uh and there's a few others that I can't think about right now, which I think is really cool because it's in there.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:20

Umloaded.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:22

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:26

I think in the you know, there's so much information coming at us that it's important, you know, like you know, there's so much on social media. And if you're doing things like this, you don't always have to remember, just know that it's being downloaded and when when you need it, it's there.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:47

Yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I think yeah, that that's sort of because I know some people who they take information in and they're able to like share it and express it so easily. Right? Like one of my friends, like, he'll take information in and then he's able to like reteach somebody, like in a very linear way. And I can't I can't do that. Like, I'm like what you said, I take information in and it's in there, but I can't reteach somebody. Like, like I know how to have a conversation about it, but if you were to tell me like okay, linearly, like, how did you come to that? I can't do that. So it's really fascinating to me where it's like some people can do that.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:31

Yeah. Yeah, I love I love this work. I love, you know, since a a young, a young kid, I've always was interested in psychology. Yeah. Like um, if people really know me, they know I love like watching crime documentaries because I'm always like interested. How what does how do people think? You know, what what makes them tick? What makes, you know. So yeah, I I I love it. And when you start understanding yourself more, you really under start understanding other people.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:04

Yeah. You you popped uh a movie recommendation for you and those out there, uh Killing Eve. It's on Netflix. Oh, really? And it's four seasons, and it's just I feel so like there's moments where I cried uh for the main character. Um, but it's just a really powerful, powerful sentiment of human emotion, human connection, uh, wanting to feel connected and the the psyche of uh of human beings. So really, really cool. Um thanks for being on. Thank you for having me. Yeah, absolutely. This was phenomenal. I hope you liked the exercise out there. And uh let us know if there's yeah, what else are you guys curious about? Like I want to know what you guys are curious about so I can bring people on that can offer those exercises for you guys. So let me know who comes on. Um Pablo, what so you're tell us what you're like what are you offering? What are you offering right now?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:02

Sure. Um you can find me on Pablososa.com, um, also on my Instagram and YouTube. Uh right now I offer one-on-one sessions. So by any of those uh ways, you know, you can hit me at DM and we'll we'll schedule first a you know, kind of like what what do you want to work on, and then we can schedule from there a one-on-one session.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:29

And teaser on on Zoom.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:32

Yes, yeah, through Zoom, yeah. Yeah, which is which is great. I mean wherever you're at, you know, we we can link up and we can get work on whatever you want. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:44

Sweet, perfect. Um yeah, specifically I think you I mean you work with men and women. It's not just men, right? So men and women, uh, and I think that you're excited about like supporting people around confidence and like right, like worthiness stuff. Like really tapping into that sense of who they are. And uh so yeah, so if you are not sure if you're worthy or not, just give Paulo a chat, just give him a reach out, you know? Yeah, so uh great exercise. And if you want more, we're gonna have Paulo come into the community, the men's community, and give you guys a deeper exercise, something a little more uh in-depth and a little longer than this sort of teaser that we did and uh QA. So if you guys have any questions for him as to like how does this work, like you know, just so you can like pick his brain. So uh any final remarks before we sort of bow out?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:39

Yeah, I mean, if you know, I can uh be any help, I'm I'm glad to. If I, you know, am just like the introduction to this sort of sort of work working with a subconscious mind, then I did my job. And yeah, I mean, just men remember to always take care of yourself. I know you have a lot on your plate, a lot of responsibility, but you deserve peace and happiness. So yeah, good words. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:12

You got Apollo. Thank you, thank you, guys.