SPEAKER_02 0:00

To regulate their nervous system so they can feel confident to live a life. I started having panic attacks. I just felt like overwhelmed with fear. And instead of having a panic attack, I had 50% less anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Welcome to another podcast episode. I'm sitting here today with Danny Kenduck. And he is a personal development and nervous system coach. He helps both men and women in his support and his service. And we're going to dive into hearing what he does, as always, how he got to where he got to. And then, as always, I love it when guests do an exercise. So stay tuned for that. So, Danny, tell us a little bit about um who you are and what you do.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Yeah. Yeah, well, thank you for having me on in this beautiful high-tech studio. Feels so good here. Um yeah, so uh maybe I'll start with kind of what I do, and then I could dive more into like my story of like who I am, kind of where I came from. That feels good. Um, yeah, what I do, I'm a personal development and nervous system coach. Um, and I help people to regulate their nervous system so that they can feel confident to live a life that they truly want to be living. Um a life where you know their their true self, their heart, their inner parent self is kind of at like the driver's seat of their life. Um and not being uh dictated by younger parts of us, protective patterns of the nervous system that can look like anxiety and people pleasing, procrastination and shame and isolation, all these things that we can be stuck in. Um so really helping people to make the shift from those protective patterns to their true self where they feel more connected and more engaged in purpose. Um and that's ultimately like a journey through regulating the nervous system to get there. Because when we experience those symptoms of anxiety, the disconnection, the procrastination, that's really when we're just in survival states of the nervous system. Um there's three different states of our nervous system. You can think about it like a ladder. Uh at the top of the ladder, we have our ventral vagal system. This is where we feel calm, we feel confident, we feel like, you know, our true self. When we experience stress and trauma, we drop down that ladder into a sympathetic state where we feel like more fight or flight. We feel anxious, we have the racing thoughts. Um, and then when we experience even more stress, we drop down into what's called dorsal vagal. And this is where you have the experience of feeling numb and low energy, depressed, disconnected. I think it's really important to know these different states of the nervous system because it helps us to know that there's a real reason why we're feeling the uncomfortable things we're feeling. And and it's not our fault. Um, our nervous system always has like a positive, protective intention to keep us safe. And I think just starting to know where you're at on your um ladder of the nervous system, knowing that it's it's not your fault, is a really big important step to help you to ultimately make the the big shift from the the protective patterns to the true self, kind of running, running your life. So that's kind of like the big big perspective. And there's a couple ways I can describe like how how we get there too, if if you're interested to hear that.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. Why don't we um would love to hear that? Why don't we uh sort of like hear from about your sort of journey? Like how did you get to where you are?

SPEAKER_02 3:46

Yeah. Yeah, good question. Yeah, well, I got to where I am through a lot of uh devotion and dedication to this internal work because I was I was desperate for for many years. I was desperate for change. Um I had anxiety kind of my whole life. I was a very sensitive kid, very like energetically sensitive, empath. Um, I started having panic attacks. My my senior year of high school. I remember I had my first panic attack in class. And when I had after I had that panic attack, where during that experience, I don't even know what was like happening to me. I just felt like overwhelmed with fear and and heat. Like my heart was beating out of my chest. I was sweating. I was so worried that other people were gonna notice what was going on with me. And that was the something shifted in my nervous system, you know, that moment. And I started panic attacks pretty much every day for like three years, um, where my world started getting like very, very small. Um, I stopped being a social, I stopped talking to people, I couldn't even really be around friends. Um, and you know, after a while I I started doing what I thought we were supposed to do. Like I started going to therapy, um, went to talk therapy. I tried 10 different SSRI medications. Um I got put on uh benzodiazepines for almost a year every day. Getting off of that was a whole big deal, too. Um and yeah, I was just extremely stuck. And I felt like there was just something like wrong with me because I was doing what I thought I was supposed to do to get better and nothing was changing. Um and I just remember like it's so crazy to think back that this was my life for many years. Like there were times I went to San Diego State for college. There were days where I would leave for school in the morning, get back in the evening, and realize I hadn't opened my mouth to say a single word all day. Wow. And I just thought about that recently and was just like crying and processing emotions about that truth of my life for a while. Um ultimately I ended up finding a coach, my first coach. And after working with him for a while, I finally had the first ever like breakthrough experience in my life to get toward healing. And that looked like a coaching session with him where I actually felt safe enough to feel and process emotions for the first time in my life. Um amazing. Yeah, like I I cried for the first time in almost 20 years, and it was the first time that I acknowledged that things I had been through when I was younger could be contributing to why I was feeling so crazy uncomfortable with all the anxiety. It was the first time I ever acknowledged that my dad dying when I was three and a half and other family stuff just could have been a contributing factor to why I was feeling how I was feeling, and maybe I wasn't just broken. Um, the real magic happened when I went to school at San Diego State a few days later. And instead of having a panic attack, like the moment I walked in the auditorium, I had like 50% less anxiety. Like I walked in, I could actually see the room. I sat down to the person next to me. I made some small, some small talk and like eye contact. Um, I remember smiling after class with people for the first time in I don't know how long. And this moment was like absolutely changed my life because my whole life until then, I did not, I had zero proof for the opportunity for me to change.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

I thought I was just stuck forever. I didn't know what I could do. I thought I was broken. And this experience dropped all of that. It's like, okay, I don't really know what happened during that coaching session because I didn't talk about my social anxiety. I don't know why I feel better, but I knew that I felt so different that that was just like, okay, this is hope for the future. And I was just absolutely from then on devoted to my healing, you know, processing trauma, learning about my emotions, getting support. Um, and I just I haven't looked back since then, you know.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Wow. What? So then after you sort of got that, let's say healing or whatever, right? That coaching session, what then led you to be like, all right, I want to learn more. I want to educate myself on different modalities, and then led you to wanting it to offer to other people. Like, what was your sort of trajectory in that?

SPEAKER_02 8:19

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think what really wanted what made me excited to learn more was I did a bunch of like emotional processing for a long time and it started to help my nervous system calm me down, but I still wasn't really like taking action and living the life I wanted to live yet. And that's when I started working with some um of my later mentors who guided me on the importance of getting clear on like who we really want to be and and getting clear on those qualities and like proactively creating and taking steps towards the true version of myself. And when I started getting a clear vision on who I wanted to be, then my life started to actually change. And I started to, you know, this was years ago, I started to do like personal training work first, felt confident to do that. And then I started doing more uh hands-on work. Um, and then now I do cranial seracral work. And um, the coaching has been here for the last, you know, five years or so too. Um and to your question of like how I knew I wanted to like do this to support other people is um I've known for so long that I I love people, I want to support people. I've always wanted to be that for people, but I had so much dysregulation and stuff in my system that I couldn't be that support for people for a long time. Um, so I knew that once I gained the capacity and the skill set, like I want to help people. I need to share this information that has changed my life to let people know like there's something different than talk therapy and medications. You don't just have a diagnosis that you're stuck with, you can't change. Like, you can absolutely change, and I'm gonna help you to do it, you know? Um, so nothing fires me up more, nothing feels more aligned in my body and my heart and my soul when I get to work with people and I can just feel, feel, and hear about the transformation they're experiencing. It just fills me up. I just that's a clear reason why I know I'm doing the work I'm supposed to be doing.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

Yeah, absolutely. I love it. Yeah, thanks for being a support to people out there that don't know that transformation and healing and change for the better can happen. Yeah. So thank you for being an example in that. It's beautiful. So tell us a little bit about the nervous system. You were you mentioned the sort of three ladder, the step ladder, the ladder, right? So tell us a little bit more about that. Like educate us on what is it, how does it work? Um, yeah, tell us a little bit more about that.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Yeah, absolutely. So, knowing about how our nervous system works just kind of gives us like a an internal roadmap of how to work with our emotions and how to um just not feel so lost in our in our world, in our internal world. So, our nervous system really has, I think I kind of mentioned before, it has a protective intention to keep us safe. That's really like the biggest thing about the nervous system. Um, and something called polyvagal theory also really describes how it works. Um, polyvagal theory involves one aspect is those three states that I talked about. That's our our polyvagal ladder that helps us to know what different state we're in in our nervous system. And um again at the top of the ladder, we have we have our ventral system, we feel calm. Uh, we drop down when we experience stress and we feel more of that sympathetic fight or flight state. Um, when we feel even more challenged, we drop down into dorsal, the shutdown, the kind of like shame, giving up feeling. Um and being able to know where you're at on your polyvagal ladder gives you more free will to work with your system and implement some tools to bring on more of your ventral system because that's ultimately the goal is to increase the capacity of our ventral vagal system. When we have more of that online, you can kind of think of it like your parent self, your inner parent self that can be there for the the scared, anxious parts or or the sad shutdown parts. Um, and so it's it's extremely important to have this awareness and then to proactively build your ventral system through different nervous system regulation techniques and and approaches um that can help you to really be able to just feel the full range of your human human experience. You know, yeah, that's it's kind of kind of the main thing, being able to feel the happiness, the joy, the sadness, the anger, and and stay present, stay here, you know, and stay with a sense of safety through like all of it.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

You mentioned that it this this sort of system that you're describing helps a person uh to know where where they are in the system, right? How would someone uh recognize, like, oh, I'm in this state right now. What are some of the things that come up for them?

SPEAKER_02 13:20

Yeah, great question. Um, so maybe we could just do briefly like each each stage of the system. So um in your ventral vagal system, some ways that you'll be able to know you're there is um more elevated, uh comfortable emotions, which would be like feeling present, feel feeling joy, feeling connection, and ways that you can know you're feeling those things is when you feel present, like you can like feel your body like oh, I'm just like aware of like my feet on the floor, or I can feel that my breathing feels you know, easy and relaxed. And um, those are some cues in your system, like, okay, like my ventral system's online. I'm feeling feeling good, feeling regulated, you know. Yeah. Um, and then when we're in more sympathetic or fight or flight, if you feel anxiety, you might have like a tightness or racing heart. Um, you might feel like tension in your body, you feel like you're a lot of your energy is in your head. And that's kind of a clear sign that you're in that, you know, the sympathetic or fight or flight state. If you can identify some of those symptoms in your body. Um, and then some ways to know that you're in more of the dorsal shutdown is you might feel really heavy in your body, or like just kind of numb, or like you don't have motivation, you you just you're just kind of like meh, or you're like very sad, you know. Um, those are some ways that you can identify in your system. Like, okay, I'm in, I'm in dorsal right now. And having this awareness, once you can identify what state you're in, then you can more easily start to meet your needs of like, okay, how can I start to regulate my system to bring more green online? Um green online? Or I said green. I usually sometimes I talk about like a stoplight, like an upside-down stoplight instead of a ladder. So at the top is ventral or green. Yeah. Sometimes I say green with my clients, but I didn't I didn't say that today. Um, so the ventral vagal system, we want to bring more of that online. Um so I could share like a little bit about ways to do that, like each date. Sure. That sounds good. Um, so when we're in a sympathetic state with more anxiety, there's like an excess amount of energy in our system. And we often need to like move our body, like discharge this energy in order to bring more of that ventral system online. So that could look like, okay, I identify, I'm feeling anxious, I'm feeling tight. Okay, I'm probably in like more of a sympathetic fight or flight state. So, what can I do? I could get up and start doing some like bouncing, shaking the body out, taking deep breaths with big sighs and just like moving, mobilizing. That's kind of what the system, that system is meant for. It's like a fight or flight, it's a going, moving energy. So, in order to come back to more calm, we often need to move, move that energy out. And I think this is why knowing about the nervous system is so important because for a lot of people, if they feel stressed and anxious, a lot of times they think, Oh, I just need to like do some slow breathing and calm down. Like just calm, you're still stressed, just calm down. It's like maybe, but I might need to like scream and jump around and get this freaking energy out. And that's how I calm down after. You know, yeah, it's a very different approach when we have this mindset of the polyvagal system and we know how it works. Um, and then if you're feeling more in that dorsal, the heaviness, the low energy, we want to actually start to proactively bring in like gentle bits of more energy and movement in ways that feel um supportive. So something could be like um just even starting to listen to some music that's a little more upbeat that you like. We want to start to bring some more energy into the system, and then ultimately you'll have to do some discharging too. It's almost like unfreezing from that from that shutdown state. Um so those are some ways that you can start to kind of practically work with you know these different systems and states.

SPEAKER_00 17:18

Is there one where someone is hyper uh what am I thinking of? Cause it because in all these you say so there's one that's you know they're anxious, uh, and then there's one that they're sort of sleepy sleepy.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

Uh is the anxious one when someone's like got a lot of thoughts and they're running 100 miles an hour in their head. Would that be the anxious one? For sure. Okay. Yeah. For sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, because I I I can definitely attest to having experienced both all of them, right? I mean, yeah, most of us do. Yeah. And I love that there's some, there's different ways to bringing yourself back online, which I would call, which is really freaking cool. Yeah. It's really cool.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

Love that. Yeah. That's that's exactly what it is. It's like you're learning um these tools. It's like the instruction manual for being a human with emotions, you know, that we just really don't learn, you know. Like a lot of people, when you learn to drive, you learn how the car works and you learn how to drive. And like we're just not really given that set of skills as people, which is so crazy to me.

SPEAKER_01 18:19

You know.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

Um, so yeah, it's it's it's very invaluable. And one other thing I want to point to that you brought up is like you said, you can experience, um, you've experienced all these states, and and it's true. We actually experience all of these states like pretty fluidly. Like it's not just like one or the other. We have like blended states. So we have um like when we have a sympathetic state with a lot of ventral online too, that's like excitement and like play. We're like moving, we're like mobilized, but we're also having fun. Yeah. You know? And if we're in that dorsal shutdown, but we also have green, that's when we're like still and immobilized, but we feel comfortable. We're like meditating peacefully, or we're cuddling with someone. Um, we're like not moving, we're still, but we feel safe. Um, so we experience all these things kind of like a pendulum in a wave. Like, even since I've been sitting here, I've experienced all three of those states in different ways, you know? And that's super normal. That's just that's how our system works. So it's not like a black and white, it's very fluid. Um, I think that's helpful to like view it that way too.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

Yeah, I like that. It makes it more uh accepted or like instead of thinking it like you said, like I at first I was like, oh, this feeling's bad and that's good. Like, let me always be in that the green state. Well, what's the green one? The ventral. Ventral. Let me always be in ventral. And it's like, no, that's not, no, that's not what we want. Yeah. Okay. So since this is, you know, my podcast is all focused on specifically for men, how does this work? How can it support men? What are some of the things that you've seen, I mean, in yourself as a man and how this can relate and support men in their journey?

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Yeah, absolutely. I think this work is so powerful for men because for so many of us, and I can speak for myself for sure, I spent a lot of time in like my my hyper masculine external world, going, doing, pushing harder, pushing my emotions away, just work out harder, just do it, do another rep, just all these things, external pushing. And that's actually ignoring so much of you know our being and so much of our potential is on the other side of learning um to turn inward. So I think this work is really important for men because it's helping them to get more in touch with kind of like the feminine qualities of ourselves that sometimes we can be disconnected from. Um, you know, we have more feminine and masculine aspects in all of us, you know, regardless of gender. Um, so I think for a lot of guys, it can be kind of hyper external world. And this work is really powerful to regulate inside. Um, and that's really the biggest thing that can change the world around us in our in our relationships, our friendships, partnerships, family, um, career. And um, there's also an opportunity to be in your very like, you know, masculine side too, of like once I've done this internal work, okay, who do I want to be and how do I take actions to get there, you know, every day. So I think there's an opportunity for a good balance of the internal world feeling and tying that work, the importance of that, to the outcomes that people want to live. You know, it's not just to healing to feel for no reason. It's like, no, I do this internal work so I can go live how I want to live. Yeah. You know.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

Create the world or my reality that I want. Yes. If you were to give the viewers and the listeners an example of what is something that someone might come to you with. And that you've seen your the work has helped them shift to recognize Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

Great question. One of the biggest things I see is guys that just feel they don't know how they're feeling. And they feel like they have a hard time communicating their their emotions to their friends and connection to to like their wife or their partner. So I think that's one of the biggest things is a disconnection from their body and from their emotions. It's one of the most common things I see with people. And what this work does, there's all these different, you know, words and the ladders and all these things we talk about, but ultimately it's so we can come like home to ourself. So we can come back to a sense of feeling our body, feeling our emotions and like knowing who we are. Because really what happens with emotional trauma, going back from as far as when we're just little, little kids, is we learn to disconnect from ourselves. We learn to stop feeling our body, stop feeling our emotions, stop feeling our needs, and we get into our head, and we just lose a sense of who we really are. And I know, you know, that's that can be a really painful experience, and there's nothing more powerful, in my opinion, than doing this journey to come back to who you are inside and create a home inside because you have the awareness of the nervous system, you have the tools, and you've learned to feel emotions again. Um and then when that happens, the relationships get better because I can feel what I'm feeling and speak that to people and you know, everything in the external world can follow that.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Yeah. Why would uh why would a guy if he has most of his life not really allowed himself to feel because you know, because of his upbringing, why would he now all of a sudden say, Oh yeah, I want to feel? How do you think that this could translate for that man?

SPEAKER_02 24:10

I think having a bit of the understanding of some of what we talked about today, that the reason why it's important to feel is because when we're not feeling, that is why we're stuck in the symptoms that that we are stuck in that we don't that we don't like. When we feel hyper anxious or we feel shut down and depressed, or or was people pleasing, or however it shows up for you, if if guys can tie the current symptoms and the discomfort they're feeling in their system in their life to a to the disconnection from themselves, from the inability to feel, then I think that's the mental understanding that can come online to be like, okay, well, maybe it maybe it is important to turn inside and do some of this work. I think that's that's probably like sometimes we need these mental understandings and these shifts to be like, okay, well, yeah, it makes sense to go and do this work now. You know, before I didn't really understand like why are people feeling their emotions and all those things. But if you can s tie that to specific symptoms and then specific outcomes you want, um, I think it's really much easier to like see the importance of it.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

Yeah, I love that. I I love the idea that you know we are um mental, emotional, physical beings, right? So there is something to be said to the idea that we do need some sort of mental construct. Like we can't just all of a sudden be like, yeah, I'm gonna go feel.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:38

Like, all right. I mean, I'm at a place now after so many years of doing it that I'm like, yeah, I can like I don't need the mental construct anymore because I'm there. Like I can just, you know, right now I can just all of a sudden tune in and feel my body if I needed to. So I guess the the to let the guys know out there that, hey, here's a tool, right? This is sort of the formula or the the the structure or the construct of how this formula works or the system works. And now it's up to you to sort of like go about tuning into it, practicing it. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:18

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I I'd agree with you. The mental, those new like understandings and mental insights need to be there. And then, like you said, it's it's it's then it's a it's a practice. Yeah, it's a practice of building building circuits, building nervous system muscles, you know, like think about going to the gym. You're not gonna get big buff, strong, ripped after the first week of going to the gym, right? It takes daily devotion with enough resistance and stress and challenge and then enough rest too, you know. So we don't do it all at once. It just needs to be a new way of being. Because if we think about it like, ah, this is just a new to-do list, I have to do this internal work, I have to like start feeling my feelings. Like that's not sustainable compared to having the framework of, oh no, this kind of work that I'm doing, this is how I change my life. This is how I go from anxious to confident. This is how I go from isolated and people pleasing and don't not wanting to be around people to, you know, very social and outgoing. You know, it's when you can tie your pain that you're in your now to the outcome you want, to the work that you're doing, then it becomes a devotion and you start to love it and you start to crave it because you feel that it starts to change your life. It's no longer a to-do list you have to check off because I've been there and that doesn't work for very long.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

Definitely not agreed. Yeah. What is sort of your um protocol regimen with this work specifically? Like how often do you do it? What's your practice right now?

SPEAKER_02 27:49

Yeah. Oh my gosh, what is not my practice right now? Like, oh yeah. Um, yeah, I have kind of more like structure in my mornings where I have um, I'll give a few examples. Like before I even get out of bed, I am starting to bring my awareness into my body. I'll I'll breathe deeply, I'll do some like big body stretches and like squeezes and like building building my awareness of my body. Um and then I'll I'll stand up while I still have my eye mask on and I'll do some some more deep breathing where I'm starting to feel my body. And um I do a lot of like energetic work with myself now. So, you know, stuff with the biofield, which maybe we could get into another time. Um, but it's it's really similar to this, it's work. It's breathing deeply to regulate my nervous system to be aware of how I'm feeling inside and a couple other practices in the morning. But more importantly than that, is it's it is a way of being for me now. You know, like it's no longer like my practices. It's just like, how much can I bring my nervous system regulation tools and these things that I have into my day-to-day life? Because that's really where we need it, and that's where I need it for me. You know, like it's great to have deep experiences when I'm laying down meditation, which I do, but more powerful than that is to bring more of that deep regulation, that deep connection to myself, to where I'm sitting here in a podcast talking to someone, you know, that's where it's like it becomes practical. And I think that's what's also missing from a lot of this work is it's like there's a disconnect between like meditation and mindfulness, but then like living, you know. So I think what's helped me the most and what I try to share with my clients is like we want to do this work so we can integrate it into our waking, walking life 24-7. You know, not just in the morning practice and the evening practice, which are powerful and you can go deeper in some ways, but um, all these tools are just for always. For always.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What you're speaking to is the idea behind when you first come across a tool, right? There's um a learning curve, right? Okay, so you're gonna sit there, you're gonna be like, okay, this is this is my, what was it? Versal, what was the first one? Uh ventral, ventral. This is my ventral, right? And you're like, all right, I don't know what it is. Like you sort of like play with it, and then you go to the second one, and then you go to the third one. Say the second one again. Um sympathetic, sympathetic. Or fight or flight, same kind of same thing. Sympathetic fight or flight and then dorsal. Yes. Okay. So you're sort of like trying to understand these, but then you're trying to embody them. Right? So the embodiment piece is what we're talking about. That piece takes time, it takes practice, it takes effort. You can't all of a sudden sort of like tell yourself, like, yeah, I'm gonna learn this stuff in a week, and then think that you've gotten it in your system. What we're talking about is that once you get to a place like where Danny is right now, where he wakes up, it's just something that is just it's it's his it's his in his DNA now, where he just gets up and he's like, This is who I am, this is what I do, this is how I roll in the morning, right? So it's taken him a long time to get here. So this may take you some time, some practice to get to a place where one day you'll just wake up and you'll be like, holy shit, I'm just like taking a deep breath in and I'm not even knowing. Like, I'm just doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:11

Yeah. Yeah. I I love that you said that. And I think something else that's helpful for um people to know and guys to think about is um like the um I lost my train of thought for a second. What was I gonna say? Um it's gone. It's gone for now. I'll let you know if it comes back. It felt important when it came in, right? But now it's gone. Yeah. Okay. No worries. I had a little, I had a little uh sympathetic brain for it. Right. And it's gone. Yeah, I'll let it come back.

SPEAKER_00 31:46

Maybe it's one of those things where it's either not meant to be said right now, yeah, or maybe it'll come later. Yeah, maybe. Uh so yeah, so if it comes back, just let us know and you can share it. Um so you're gonna go through an exercise with us to sort of like help us sort of like understand, like instead of understand cognitively, yeah, understand embody it, right? Experience it. Because I think that's the key, right? I think a lot of guys, that's one of the reasons why I'm doing these exercises on every podcast, is so that you hear some form of information, you get something, but then you you feel it in your body of like you actually experience it, or like, oh, now I you get it on a different level. Yeah, right. Yeah. So tell us a little bit about what the exercise is.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

Yeah. Okay, lovely. Um, so this exercise, it'll be a guided process. Um, it's gonna do a few things. It's gonna help to regulate your nervous system. So bringing on more of that ventral. Um, that's gonna help you to give more of a uh felt sense, so like being able to feel more of the qualities of that true self. Um, and then it's going to also help you to be more aware of something that's been blocking you from being like embodying that true self more in your life. So that's kind of that's kind of the outcome of the kind of process. Say it one more time. So number one, it'll help to regulate your nervous system. Okay, regulate your nervous system. Help you to get more connected to your true self. Connected to your true self? What's been blocking you from more of your true self in your life every day.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

Okay. So tell the share a little bit about what you mean by regulated nervous system. Like bring it down to like, you know, a five, you're telling a five, six year old, like what does that mean?

SPEAKER_02 33:30

Yeah. So if you ever had an experience where like maybe you just finished a massage or you just had the best nap and you just feel like, oh, like I just feel like good. I just feel like relaxed. I'm here, everything's okay. Like, that's what regulated nervous system is. You're just present, you're here, things are okay. Um, so the this process, it's going to be blending breath work, um, some parts work, um, and some like active visualization work and some heart field coherence work. Correct. Which you don't need to like know all these things, but it's if people want to look into these things too. Um, and that will ultimately help you to achieve these kind of three things I mentioned.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Okay. So regulating nervous system. The second one was true self. What share, what do you mean by that? Share, share a little bit what you mean by true self.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

Yeah. So so there's qualities that are within us that feel the most aligned with who we really are. And and sometimes we have to do some uh proactive contemplation or discovery to find like who is truly me? What does that feel like? What does that look like? Um so getting more clear on a specific quality of that feels really true for you. So that could be something like confidence or um, you know, feeling extroverted, feeling happy, feeling patient, what whatever it is, and and I'll be guiding you to something will come in for you specifically. Okay a quality that feels like this is this is part of who I really am. This feels true for me.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

Sweet. Amazing. That just gave me chills. And then the third one was being more aware of a uh current block that you have. And and that could look like um people pleasing could be an example. Like there's a part of me that's always people pleasing, um, that's really preventing me from this true self-quality of you know, speaking up or whatever. So those kind of make more sense too as you're in it. But some something that often blocks you from living, embodying that true self-quality.

unknown 35:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

Great.

SPEAKER_00 35:21

Yeah, awesome. Sound good. Sounds amazing. I'm excited to experience this. Cool. Hell yeah. So uh whenever you're ready, uh, just you know, again, if you're driving, if you're listening to this uh out and about, uh please, you know, you can either fast forward towards the once we're done with this or just listen to this at a later time.

SPEAKER_02 35:42

Yeah. Yeah, beautiful. Well, if you're able to get in a comfortable seated position and close down the eyes, you can do that. And just starting to bring your awareness to your internal world, and seeing where you can start to just naturally soften your body a little bit. See how you can start to get a little bit more comfortable. Movements are just places to release, just to settle in. And we'll take three big deep breaths together. So let's all breathe in through the nose. Hold our breath at the top, let it go of the side, again deeply in. Hold, let it go. One more biggest, deepest breath all day. Hold your breath at the top, sip in a little more air. Keep holding, feeling full, relaxing as you're holding. Exhale, let it go. Now you're gonna just start to have deep breaths at a pace that feels good for you, slowly deeply into the nose, slowly, deeply out through the nose or mouth. And I invite you to bring your awareness into your heart. Not just your physical heart, but the your energetic heart. The energy deep inside of your chest that kind of holds the archetype of of love and the place in your body that produces this massive electromagnetic field. Just placing your awareness, the core of your being inside your heart and breathing into that space. And I invite you to think about someone or something that you really love. And just really starting to tune into that feeling of love that you have for this person or for this thing? Allowing yourself to feel that fully and even turning up the dial on it a little bit at a time. Do you feel softening? Do you feel the warmth? Just tuning into any sensations to feel comfortable. And as you're feeling this love toward this person or toward this thing, now we're gonna turn all of that love inward toward yourself. And allow yourself to start to receive this love that you're feeling for that other person or thing, and you're gonna start to feel it for yourself now. Just through your intention, through your visualization, and a little imagination, breathing these sensations more deeply through your heart and through your body, emanating through the rest of your body, down your arms, shoulders, up into your head, relaxing your face and head, going down your belly and your back, letting these sensations of comfort and love just pour through your system. This is more of your ventral system. This is the part of your system that feels more calm and regulated, where so much good things happen. Letting the energy scan down through your hips and pelvis, front and back of the thighs, down to your shins, calves, feet, toes. Now your whole body is feeling just enveloped with this, this comfortable love that's just pulsating through your heart. As you're feeling this love that you've directed inward. And if you're not feeling anything very strongly, that's okay. Some of these things can take a little bit of practice. So just do your best to feel what you can feel, and if you need to imagine what it could feel like, that's that's powerful too. So just really taking a few moments to just be. Just be in this space. What does it feel like when there's just a bit of slowness, presence, and love through my system? Nowhere to be, nothing to do for these next few moments except to just allow yourself to receive this state of regulation. This is what it means to be in more of a state of nervous system regulation. Breathing it in deeply to every cell, relaxing more deeply into it, every exhale. Just allowing them to come into your awareness as they come, they can just start to filter in. What are the qualities of your true self that feel important for you? Just let them let them flow in no right or wrong way, just noticing them come in. I invite you to start to land on one quality that feels the most alive for you right now. What is one quality? Tuning into that quality and starting to breathe that quality into your heart and let that start to permeate the rest of your body as well. Whatever quality that is, what does that feel like in your body? When you think about it, when you imagine it. What is your body posture like when that quality is flowing through you? What is your breathing like? And now I want you to imagine what are you doing in the world when you are embodying this quality? Let yourself create a vision, an image, a scene in your mind's eye. What are you doing? Who's around you? How are you behaving? Create the scene. And really just noticing how are you showing up? What do you feel? In your body, what do you what are you doing? How are you behaving? What are the people around you reacting to you like? How how are you talking? How's your body moving? Just starting to feel and imagine and see all at the same time what life is like when you are allowing yourself to embody and express this true you quality in the world. Knowing that as you do this, you are literally creating new neural pathways and a new future for you to step into. Proactively creating a new future for yourself now. And you can continue to come back to this visualization in this state whenever you need. So being clear on this quality, clear on the scene of how it shows up when you're embodying this quality, letting it feel good, letting it feel alive and true for you. And now just asking yourself, what is one thing that blocks me from embodying and expressing this quality more in my life? Is it self-consciousness? Is it people pleasing? Is it procrastination? Whatever it is for you, you need to have the opportunity to allow yourself to really look at what's been blocking you. In order to move forward into the life we want, we need to know our current protective parts, our current protective mechanisms in our nervous system. We need to see it before we can change it. So allow yourself to see and feel it now. Not gonna be here forever, just allow it in. Let it know that you see him. And that you know he's just been trying to keep you safe. And this is how he's been trying to keep you safe for however long, maybe for a really long time. Maybe he's been doing his job since you were a little kid. Just greeting him like you would greet a young child, just with loving presence, not trying to change him, just letting him know that you see him. Letting him know that you're here and that you love him. And asking him, what do you need for me in order to feel safe enough to start to soften a little bit? See what comes. Thanking him for whatever he told you, whatever he needs. Giving him a hug if that feels good. Letting him know that you're gonna do your best every day to meet that need of whatever he needs to feel safe to start to soften that protective pattern that's been keeping you stuck, that's been preventing you from living more of that true you quality in your life. Last thing we'll do here is allowing yourself to come up with one action step. What is one action step that you can take today to start living more of your true self-quality in the world while meeting that younger part of you in their need at the same time? What is one action step you can start doing to living more of your true self? See what comes. Just being clear on that action step. Thanking this younger part of you for being seen and letting letting get support, thanking yourself for doing this work. And I invite you at your own, it's your own pace that when you open your eyes, you allow your eyes to just start to land on something in your environment that you can look at for a moment. It's gonna be orienting back to the visual field, looking at whatever you're looking at in detail, taking it in. It's taking just a couple more breaths to be back in the external world, but also seeing, also seeing if you can stay connected to your body and these these new these new awarenesses you just had, that that connection to your true self. Letting that integrate in as you're back out into the world a little bit. And when you feel ready, just close it out and go about your day, doing your best to stay connected to some of these new insights and shifts that you had, so they don't just become a distant memory, but they become integrated into your day, into your life, into your body. Come back to that place as often as you need.

SPEAKER_00 50:51

Yeah, that was that was quite the journey, quite the potency. Yeah. What I loved was the uh first first and foremost, tuning the love for somebody else, tuning it into myself. That was pretty potent. Yeah, I could definitely feel it resonating throughout my body of like, wow, like I get to love myself in the same way that I love another. That was really cool. Yeah, to actually make it a bodily sensation. Yeah, that was really, really fascinating. And then my word or sort of like the thing that I picked was being genuine or friendly sort of thing. And yeah, it was really sweet to notice myself wanting all these images of wanting to like like be jubilant and and genuine with people and like friendly and like, hey, how you doing? Like, because that's how I used to be when I was younger. Like I used to be very like when I would see someone who I knew at any environment, I'd like run up to them, be like, What's up, man? How you doing, long time? You know, give them a hug, kind of a thing. And so yeah, so being more genuine in that way. Uh and then my kid basically, when I saw my little little boy, uh, he basically like looked up at me and said, like with a big smile, like grabbed my hand and was like, Come sit, let's play. So he like gave me some Legos and like we played a little bit together. And uh that was that was really cool to have that little kid want to play with me. And then finally, the the block is uh what other people think of me when I am in that state. Uh the potential like judgments are like, what's wrong with you? Like, why do you express yourself like that kind of a thing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then the sort of like action step is tonight I'm going to a um a game night uh at a at a it's a gathering. And so I'm going to be I'm gonna be genuine. Yeah, I'm gonna go up to people and be like, hey, what's up? How you doing? What a beautiful opportunity to have action stuff this evening. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much for that. That was amazing. Yeah, you're welcome.

SPEAKER_02 53:02

Glad it was powerful. Yeah. Yeah, that's been uh a version of a process that's been so powerful for me, you know. Um, blending so many things from the mentors that have impacted me the most and kind of making making it my own. And it it's you know, what's so important for you too is like the feeling these things, right? Like um it's it's not enough just to have a mental understanding of some things. We want to get them in the body too, in the felt sense. That's what makes it real and tangible and creates those nervous system shifts to go up that ladder, create more ventral. Like it happens through experiences like this, in my opinion, in my experience. So um I'm glad it felt good for you.

SPEAKER_00 53:39

Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. For some of the listeners that you might have a hard time imagining things, um Danny just said it, right? Just it's more about what do you feel in your body, right? Just tune into your body. If you have a hard time like being like, I can't picture anything, I can't imagine anything, great. Don't worry about imagining it. Just drop into your body, feel it more in as a as a feeling sense and a felt sense in your body.

SPEAKER_02 54:05

Yeah, exactly. And if people have a harder time um feeling, but they have an easier time, you know, having the visual images and and doing things more active with the mind, just know that like those things will come, like just practicing going to the gym to feel your emotions and and bringing that into your body. If you feel a little numb or disconnected, that's totally normal. And just imagine what it what it would feel like in your body. And the more you tune into your body, the easier it will get, and you'll like build circuits to start to feel again. And then before you know it, you're gonna start to feel this love in your heart and feel it through your body that you haven't felt before. So um, yeah, just take practice, be gentle with yourself and make it a consistent practice, and it'll it'll be uh powerful. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:47

So with that, what are some of your current offers? Like, what are you offering right now?

SPEAKER_02 54:51

Yeah, I'm doing one-on-one coaching um in person if you're in San Diego or on Zoom, if not. Um and yeah, you can you can check me out on Instagram um at Danny Kenduck Coaching. Um and you can set up a free discovery call. There's a link in my bio to set up a free discovery call to see if we'd be a good fit to do some some work together, some one-on-one, one-on-one work together where we can really individualize um for you like what you need to identify the current blocks and help more of that true self be at the driver's seat of your life. It's really what I help people do. So um, if that feels like it could be interesting for you, then then you can check that out. Um also if there's other people in San Diego listing, I do uh craniocral therapy too, um, which is a gentle hands-on therapy that's really powerful to help regulate the nervous system, more ventral. Um, I can use all these words with you now. Um and yeah, it's just really powerful to help help the body naturally unwind um physically through like tightnesses and stress and emotions and trauma, and it feels really good. So that's a really powerful uh therapy that I offer too. Um and with the coaching, I should mention I usually work with people for like three or six months. Um, it's typically where I see the best results with people to really go deep, you know, and really change, change old patterns for new ones, take some time. So um that's kind of what I have going on. And uh my own podcast, which you were on yesterday.

SPEAKER_01 56:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:22

It's called Breaking Emotional Chains, it's on Spotify. Um, so you can check that out too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:28

All right. Find him in all those, and obviously in the description of the podcast and YouTube will have all of Danny's info. We're also gonna have him come into the community, the Internet Adventure Man's community, where he's gonna go deeper with an exercise and also offer some QA's as to maybe you might have some questions uh that he can offer you guys. So uh we can uh find him there eventually. Uh final remarks before we you know close up close up the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 57:00

Yeah. If you're going through hard times, if you feel like there's just something kind of off, that you have like a deep whisper inside that there's like something more for your life, and you just can't put your finger on it, you're not sure what's uh what that whisper is, I want you to know that that you're absolutely not stuck and where you're at. There's there's nothing wrong with you, that there's absolutely reasons for why you feel how you're feeling that it makes sense, and it's absolutely possible to change, and it's just gonna take an approach that that works for you. Um, but you're yeah, there's absolutely nothing wrong with where you are or who you are, and it's possible to make a much better life for yourself. I promise it's possible. So um that's kind of what I think I'd like to end on. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:50

Well, thanks for coming on. Appreciate all the work you're doing in this world, and uh yeah. See you guys later.